Friday, 6 February 2015

Fifty Ways to Lose Your Love Life

This post is probably going to take a couple of different tacks, although I believe there is a common theme.

Driving down to Calgary yesterday I happened to hear the Focus on the Family program. Two guests, Dr Juli Slattery and author Dannah Gersh were discussing the phenomenon fr the Fifty Shades of Gray series of, "erotica," which, although I have not read them, they classify as pure pornography, and I am quite willing to accept their opinion. Apparently there is a focus on fetishes of bondage and discipline between a strong, dominating man and a weaker, innocent woman. The main audience for these books is primarily. women. If you have time to listen, Part one is here and Part two is here.

Several reasons for the popularity of these books, among them the desire of many women to escape their reality of their lives, a desire to revive their love life, an urge to change their husbands, the tendency on the part of some, even many, women to secretly fantasize about the tough male. But the one that struck a chord with me, perhaps appealing to my curmudgeonly side was this: the emasculation of men in our society.

I think we all been aware of how some sitcoms, for example, have come to portray men, especially fathers, as buffoons, pushed around or manipulated by their wives and children. I have noticed, in watching popular television and movies, an increase of strong, powerful woman characters who regularly are able to outfight even the strongest male characters. I'm thinking of shows like NCISLA, Person of Interest, Agent Carter, Agents of Shield, etc. I'm not saying good should not win out over evil, but these portrayals of strong women kicking butt over men is, in my opinion, a bit of an agenda, and an unrealistic one at that.

Of course we know that in kids' sports, girls are allowed to play on many boys' teams (not the other way around, of course), where, before puberty, girls can often out perform boys, but what does that do to a young boy's self esteem. It has taken the struggle for women's equality and elevated it to the point of women's superiority.

Which brings me to the subject of pornography itself. It is almost universally accepted nowadays, that porn and porn addiction have very negative effects. Study after study show it. Just Google, "effects of porn" or similar and you will find endless material on the subject. In short, porn and porn addiction on the part of males inhibits, damages or even destroys his ability to have a normal sexual relationship with  a real woman. Watch this video for a rather interesting talk on the subject.

One of the biggest steps toward the decline of our Western society, in my opinion (and that's all it is; my opinion) was the legalization of pornography on the basis of freedom of speech, or freedom of expression. We all know there are limits on freedom of speech for the common good, and this should have been one of them.  We've all heard about shouting, "Fire" in a crowded theatre, and now,  "Bomb" in an airport. Well, I believe that the legalization of porn has had far more negative consequences than either one.

Porn has destroyed relationships, marriages and families. Now, that statement is hearsay, I must admit, but I can remember at least one case very clearly. It was when I was participating, over a period of two or three years, on the discussion boards of a now defunct atheist website. These websites often lead, as they did in this case, to rather a feeling of closeness or friendship, even to those with whom we disagree. The online commenting community becomes a sort of family.

One of the group was a woman in her thirties, single until, during the time we were part of this community, she posted that she had found the perfect man and fallen in love. Within a few months they were married. After a time, she began to post some rather sad posts. One could almost sense her agony as she began to share about her husband locking himself in his study, in front of his computer, watching internet porn, while she sat outside the locked door in tears, longing for his attention and affection. Porn destroyed her marriage and her happiness, and it didn't take long. I wonder how many times this scenario occurs all around our country.

Anyway, just personal opinions based on somewhat rambling personal thoughts.

Take Care

 

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