I'd like to you tell what a special morning I had. It started as usual, up at 7:30, into my pajama bottoms and housecoat, toast with peanut butter and jam, coffee and while the wife is puttering around preparing herself for work, I sit on the loveseat and look over the beautiful property we are privileged to enjoy. I kiss her on each cheek, then stand on the porch while she backs out of the driveway. As her car turns the corner and disappears from view, I do as I have done every morning for the last two weeks and head to the bathroom, scouring it for any possible debris from the missing Malaysian Airliner. I check the light receptacles, the ceiling vent/fan, the toilet tank, behind the garbage basket, the toilet paper roll, the sink counter top, drawers and cupboard. Looked everywhere, found nothing. The phone rang. It was a guy from Zhangjawanzhen, China, a suburb of the capital, Beijing. He said, " Foo yung chew pow yen yong kow yang dung", which roughly translated means, he was studying space satellite images of the south Indian Ocean searching for evidence of a downed jet airliner, then he Googled my address. Next, he asked me to go back to the room I'd just left as he saw a body of water with what appeared to be a airplane door floating on the surface. I politely excused myself, placed his call on hold, went back to the bathroom and drew back the shower curtain. Lo-and-behold, sure enough my wife, thoughtful as always, had drawn a bath for me and a hairbrush had slipped off the ledge and was bobbing on top. I returned to his call and told him what I had uncovered and he said he would call the Australian Prime Minister and take back what he'd earlier reported to him. I thought, you know, what a wonderful world we live in, I feel so very safe knowing half a world away someone is keeping an eye on me. Then he said," U 2 phat 4 sum grey guy, nee wooze wate." This did not need translating. I swore at him and slammed the phone down as hard as I could. It's a small world after all.Some may see this as cruel, but I thought it extremely funny. Perhaps it's just my warped sense of humour. Forgive me if you disagree.