Saturday, 7 November 2009

Fun With English

A site I just discovered, Fake AP Stylebook purports to be a guide to proper writing for writers and journalists. Some of the tips, I must admit, are in questionable taste, some make no sense at all, but some had me laughing out loud. Here are a few examples.

A 'queue' is a short line of people or other objects. A 'queueueueueue' is a longer line.

In a byline, "With additional reporting by" can be shortened to "Big Ups To."

"Redneck" is considered a derogatory term but you know what? Who cares about those stupid rednecks.

When covering a flood always include a photo of a dog stranded on a roof. Throw your own dog up there if needed

United States of America - Named for its original Norse discoverer, Erik Unitedstatesofamerica

For unnamed sources, agree on an attribution that gives the reader an idea of who it is. Ex.: "rhymes with President Bobama" (As far as my favourites, this was a close second, JK)

Do not use "Whoomp! There it is!" unless it actually is there.

The term for word misuses such as "irregardless" and "supposably" is "uncorrect."

The plural of July is "Steves." I know that doesn't make sense, but that's our crazy English language for you.

To describe more than one octopus, use sixteentopus, twentyfourtopus, thirtytwotopus, and so on.

“Buggy jockey" is an insulting term to the Amish and should only be used in the online edition. (My favourite - you have to think about it, JK)

It is poor newsroom etiquette to throw yourself out of the window to prove that your co-worker is Superman.

When embedded in a military unit, give precise locations so worried mothers at home know their children are safe.

(In the spelling of “Hallowe’en”) The apostrophe is correct, as the word is a contraction of "Halloweddiedeezen".

You may use "ghost whisperer" in a generic sense, but if referring to the CBS TV character, use her name: Cleavage McGee.

We are uncertain about the plural of 'apocalypse' ourselves, but we bet it would be cool to watch.

This is true. Correct spellings are: Sanford & Son, Five & Dime, ham s&wich, &y Gibb, ampers&, etc.

Questions regarding the spelling out of acronyms should be addressed to the GCCAAPT.

Take Care

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