Monday, 13 October 2008

Church Bulletin Bloopers

~ At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

~ Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

~ The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

~ Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.

~ Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

~ The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 pm. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

~ For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

~ During the absence of our Pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

~ Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

~ The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

~ This afternoon there will be a meeting in the north and south ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

~ Tuesday at 4:00 pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

~ Wednesday the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing "Put Me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.

~ This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

~ Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 pm.--prayer and medication to follow.

~ The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Belzer; the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

~ Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.

~ The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

~ Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to the church secretary.

Form mikeysFunnies.com

Take Care

1 comment:

Tregonsee said...

Reminds me of the old "Bulls in the Bulletin" column. Thanks for a good afternoon laugh, badly needed.